Bébé Maybe

 Currently chilling here half-asleep waiting for a phone call. It hasn't been a good day. The last time I tested was on Thursday. I tested again today hoping to see a darker line to reassure myself. That backfired. The line wasn't darker. It looked pretty much exactly the same... if anything, a tiny bit lighter. Theoretically it should be significantly darker 4 days later if I have more HCG in my body. It was dumb, but I did that test at 3am. I woke up and felt nervous and couldn't wait. Then when the result wasn't what I hoped for, I couldn't fall back asleep. I've already been super tired thanks to the extra hormones, and waking up at 3 did not help. Really not feeling myself. My mom drove me to the clinic today to get a blood test, which is of course much more precise. My levels were 87 on Thursday, and should be at least 350 today if everything is going well. I'm really struggling to hope right now. I cried the whole way to Illinois. Last week they calle...

Yesterday was a pretty historic occasion. I had my first positive pregnancy test. In my life. I took the test 8 days after our transfer. Some people start testing as early as 4 days afterwards, but the likelihood of getting a negative (even when you are pregnant) is pretty high if you test too early.  I've seen enough negative pregnancy tests in my lifetime, not really interested in seeing more. I also didn't want to wait all the way until my blood test, because waiting for that phone call hours after your appointment is horrible. I wanted to have an idea of what the results would be beforehand, but I also didn't want to torture myself by testing obsessively every day. I dreamed the night before that I had a positive test, and in my dream I was so happy that I carried my pee stick around all day and kept looking at it haha. I did NOT do that in real life, but I did keep it out on the bathroom counter and smiled every time I walked past it. After my dream I woke up feeling e...