Bébé Maybe

It has been such a long road to get here. When this baby is born, it will be right around the 5 year mark of trying to have children. We were 24 and 27 when we started trying and will be 29 and 32 when we {hopefully} finally get to bring a child home.  So much waiting and heartbreak, so many tears and needles. 276 needles, to be exact (that's the amount of shots it took in the last year to get to this point).  'Rainbow baby' is a term for a baby born after a loss, which inspired this little art project made with some of said needles. I filled up all of these sharps containers in 1 year! This baby's story actually started in July of 2020. We ended up with 3 precious embryos from our first round of IVF, and this baby was one of them!  Our extra embryos are all frozen until we're able to transfer them and hope and pray that they stick around. It's kind of cool to think about how this baby was already created and waiting since last year. <3 We knew immediately af...

Last February, my water broke at 21 weeks and 1 day. I found out our son was dead at 21 weeks and 2 days. I gave birth to him at 21 weeks and 3 days. Today, I am 21 weeks and 4 days pregnant with our daughter. It should go without saying that it's been kind of an emotional and stressful week. On Thursday, at 21 weeks and 1 day, I felt so much anxiety every time I went to the bathroom (that's where my water broke).  I still check for blood every single time I go to the bathroom. I still worry with every tiny twinge or feeling in my stomach, trying to work out if it's similar to the pressure feeling I had before my water broke. It's a lot emotionally. I'm barely past that point, but I'm relieved and happy to be past it. It comforts me to know that within days (at 22 weeks), my daughter would at least have a chance at survival and if there were to be any kind of complications they could hospitalize me to give more care. Before 22 weeks, they're not willing to h...