21 weeks

Last February, my water broke at 21 weeks and 1 day.

I found out our son was dead at 21 weeks and 2 days.

I gave birth to him at 21 weeks and 3 days.

Today, I am 21 weeks and 4 days pregnant with our daughter.

It should go without saying that it's been kind of an emotional and stressful week. On Thursday, at 21 weeks and 1 day, I felt so much anxiety every time I went to the bathroom (that's where my water broke). 

I still check for blood every single time I go to the bathroom. I still worry with every tiny twinge or feeling in my stomach, trying to work out if it's similar to the pressure feeling I had before my water broke.

It's a lot emotionally. I'm barely past that point, but I'm relieved and happy to be past it. It comforts me to know that within days (at 22 weeks), my daughter would at least have a chance at survival and if there were to be any kind of complications they could hospitalize me to give more care.

Before 22 weeks, they're not willing to hospitalize you because "there's nothing they can do."

Of course, I don't want her to make an appearance any time soon. But it's nice to know that within days she would have a chance, however small.

One day at a time.