Bébé Maybe

As it was happening it was at times scary, stressful, discouraging, tiring, and extremely painful. But then as soon as it was over and I was holding baby Rosalie, one of my first thoughts was "That wasn't so bad, I could do that again!."  Those hormones are powerful haha. Also, I have cute babies and life doesn't get any better than cuddling your very own brand new adorable newborn. I was very happy to make it to my induction date. I spent my entire pregnancy worrying about preterm labor (because of my history). It is an amazing blessing to make it to full-term and to give my baby the best chance at being healthy. My planner side also really likes having a scheduled date to have everything perfectly ready by. We checked into the hospital at 5am on September 5th, 2023 after spending the day before, Labor Day (ironic lol), putting the final touches on the nursery and cleaning the house. I was 37 weeks and 3 days pregnant, and it was 9 months to the day of our January 5t...

I knew a cute little girl with this name at church in Israel.  A few years later, our first apartment as a married couple was on a street with the same name. I would see it and hear the name over and over again and liked more over time. This was back in early 2017, when we first started trying to have kids. I wasn't working (no work visa) and didn't know anyone in Cannes, so besides our weekend travels my thoughts during the week when I was alone all day were pretty much consumed with having a baby. I would get my hopes up every month, get excited and start daydreaming about being a mom. And this was the name I imagined for our little girl. David wasn't on board at the time because he thought it sounded "too French." It took a few years of convincing. Hidden benefit of infertility: plenty of time for David to come around. I always thought my first daughter would have this name, but she ended up being our Magnolia. If you don't remember, you can read the story ...

 Dear Rosalie, I think that's who you are. I hope that's who you are. We love you so much already! I'm so thankful for the beautiful two lines that I saw on the test yesterday. I can't believe that we have a chance to have you and bring you home in 9 months. How amazing.  Please keep growing and be healthy. Your mom, dad, sister, grandparents, and more are so excited to meet you and we hope we get the chance to.

Excited and terrified. Hopeful and pessimistic. Looking forward to it and dreading it. I feel so many conflicting emotions as trying IVF again gets closer. I'm not sure how the timing will work out, but it's possible that I could be going back to the clinic to get the process started for another transfer in 3 weeks or less. I'm in such a happy bubble with my precious Magnolia that I don't think I clearly remember all of the awful parts about IVF and pregnancy. The needles, the invasive procedures, the nausea... but above all, the extreme stress wondering if my baby will make it. ... The day is here! I've been back to the clinic for a hysteroscopy, baseline scan, and then a final lining check. My ultrasounds and blood work have looked good, and I started meds a few weeks ago. Today is the day of our fourth embryo transfer. I feel so ready for another sweet baby, but I don't think I could ever feel fully ready for the stress that comes with attempting to get pregn...