Excited and terrified. Hopeful and pessimistic. Looking forward to it and dreading it.
I feel so many conflicting emotions as trying IVF again gets closer. I'm not sure how the timing will work out, but it's possible that I could be going back to the clinic to get the process started for another transfer in 3 weeks or less.
I'm in such a happy bubble with my precious Magnolia that I don't think I clearly remember all of the awful parts about IVF and pregnancy. The needles, the invasive procedures, the nausea... but above all, the extreme stress wondering if my baby will make it.
...
The day is here! I've been back to the clinic for a hysteroscopy, baseline scan, and then a final lining check. My ultrasounds and blood work have looked good, and I started meds a few weeks ago.
Today is the day of our fourth embryo transfer. I feel so ready for another sweet baby, but I don't think I could ever feel fully ready for the stress that comes with attempting to get pregnant and being pregnant. However, absolutely anything is worth being a mom again. This will sound cliché, but nothing in my life has ever come close to being this wonderful.
I'm looking forward to today being over and hoping that the waiting period goes as fast as possible (and of course ends with seeing two lines and a positive beta).
I won't write it here yet, but me and David think we know what we would name this baby. This message is for them... maybe I can show it to them someday!
Dear little ________, we hope that today and for the next 9 months that everything goes well and we get to bring you home next September. We love you already and pray that my body will keep you safe, healthy, and growing.
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